Yashar
HEALING RELATIONSHIPS
SEPTEMBER  2015

A Mussar Gem

“We have expounded the thirteen qualities by which a person resembles the Creator. These are the qualities of higher compassion and their special property is that just as one conducts oneself here below so will that one be worthy of opening that higher quality from above. As one behaves, so will be the outpouring from above, and one will thereby cause that quality to shine upon earth. Therefore, do not let these thirteen qualities depart from the eyes of the mind and let not the verse [from the prophet Micha] depart from the mouth, so that it be a permanent reminder. And whenever there is the opportunity of exercising one of these qualities, one will remember, saying to oneself: ‘Behold, this depends on this particular quality. I shall not depart from it, so that the quality may not be hidden and depart from the world.’”
– Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, Tomer Devorah


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Nov. 12–15 at the Illinois Beach Resort in Zion, IL. Registration now open.


With Heart in Mind

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The Mussar Institute depends on the generosity of supporters. Please consider making a donation to honor someone or to remember a loved one.

Thank you to our generous donors & members:

  • Karen Ablon, in memory of Deborah Kazdan Bruckner
  • Roann Altman
  • Jean Angus
  • Regina Begliutti
  • Marian Bell, in memory of Herb Feins
  • Sharon Berman
  • Matthew Blumberg
  • Karen Cheniae, in honor of Pam Rollins
  • Harriet Cohen, in memory of Ann Singer Cohen
  • Kim Cohen
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  • Eric and Susana Henley
  • Caroline Isaacs, in memory of Betty Braver and Lu Brenman
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  • Jerry and Eva Posman, in honor of Rabbi Judith Edelstein
  • Alyson Ray, in honor of Philip Einsohn
  • Irv Robinson
  • Nan Rubin, dedicated to my father, Abraham Jacob Abrahams
  • Gary Shaffer
  • Howard Shapiro
  • Sharona and Howard Silverman, in honor of Rabbi Bill Berk
  • Laura Smith
  • Adam and Rachel Stock Spilker
  • Allen Spivack
  • Beatrice Steinberg
  • Suzanne and Stanley Stier
  • Raymond Sturner
  • Terri Thornton
  • Daniel and Sherry Weinberger
  • Nancy Weiss
  • Shmuly Yanklowitz, in honor of the great program Derekh HaNefesh led by Rabbi David Jaffe

Membership

TMI Membership for 2015–2016 is now open. Support TMI and take advantage of special offerings for members. Click here for more information. 

Donations are gratefully accepted.

pushke


THE MUSSAR INSTITUTE

For further information on The Mussar Institute, visit www.MussarInstitute.org
Email address: info@mussarinstitute.org
Phone: 305-610-7260

Alan MorinisThrough a Mussar Lens: A Model for Healing Relationships

One of the striking aspects of the Torah is its depiction of human relationships in all their difficulties, starting with Cain and Abel and continuing through many other instances of domestic strife. What if I told you that a 16th century rabbi wrote a handbook for healing relationships that is as applicable today as it was five centuries ago. Would you believe me? But it is true. Rabbi Moshe Cordovero (1522–1570) is that 16th century rabbi, and his guidelines for creating loving relationships occupy the whole first section of his classic work, Tomer Devorah [Palm Tree of Deborah].

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Kallah XIII: Proactive Healing

delicate leavesThe approach of the High Holy Days affords us the opportunity to heal our relationships by asking forgiveness of all those we may have harmed—by our speech or by our actions. We are encouraged to turn over a new leaf.

Could we do something so next year we had less need to seek forgiveness? Could we prevent harm from occurring in the first place? Can we learn how to create more space between situations and our reactions to them? In effect, can we adopt a proactive approach to our relationships rather than a reactive one?

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Bulletin Board

bulletin boardVideo Blog

Check out these great 3-minute Mussar video blogs produced by Rabbi Chaim Safren of the Calgary Kollel in Canada, and one of our esteemed TMI teachers. New videos come out a few times a month and deal with everyday opportunities for Mussar practice. Very engaging and sometimes even fun!

Save the Dates

The 2016 Practice Retreat dates are set: April 10–13 on the West Coast and June 5–8 on the East Coast.


Practice Corner

water fowl mother and babyWe learn from Rabbi Moshe Cordovero in Tomer Devorah that the foundational practice for healing loving relationships is to practice tolerance [savlanut in Hebrew]. He is not talking about tolerating abuse. He is talking about staying close and being forgiving of the inevitable offenses done to us by those whom we love. The practice he prescribes is both simple and challenging: whenever someone who is close to you insults you or offends you, ask yourself: “What can I do to sustain this person?” What can I do to support and care for this person I love, despite the offenses they deliver to me? This is not a rhetorical question. When someone who is close to you does something unpleasant or even hurtful to you, seek to identify what you can give to the person with whom you want to foster love, and take action.


Newsletter Home

Through a Mussar Lens: A Model for Healing Relationships – by Alan Morinis

Kallah XIII: Proactive Healing – by Roann Altman


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Copyright 2015 © The Mussar Institute

A Mussar Gem

“We have expounded the thirteen qualities by which a person resembles the Creator. These are the qualities of higher compassion and their special property is that just as one conducts oneself here below so will that one be worthy of opening that higher quality from above. As one behaves, so will be the outpouring from above, and one will thereby cause that quality to shine upon earth. Therefore, do not let these thirteen qualities depart from the eyes of the mind and let not the verse [from the prophet Micha] depart from the mouth, so that it be a permanent reminder. And whenever there is the opportunity of exercising one of these qualities, one will remember, saying to oneself: ‘Behold, this depends on this particular quality. I shall not depart from it, so that the quality may not be hidden and depart from the world.’”
– Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, Tomer Devorah


Register for the Kallah Now!

Nov. 12–15 at the Illinois Beach Resort in Zion, IL. Registration now open.


With Heart in Mind

Available now! Order


wwwfollow us on facebook

FOLLOW US ON:

Forward to a friend

Join our mailing list


Donations & Memberships

The Mussar Institute depends on the generosity of supporters. Please consider making a donation to honor someone or to remember a loved one.

Thank you to our generous donors & members:

Membership

TMI Membership for 2015–2016 is now open. Support TMI and take advantage of special offerings for members. Click here for more information. 

Donations are gratefully accepted.

pushke


THE MUSSAR INSTITUTE

For further information on The Mussar Institute, visit www.MussarInstitute.org
Email address: info@mussarinstitute.org
Phone: 305-610-7260